SOI - LR

Mark: 6

Grade: C

Comments for AQA: 

• This is a clear statement of intent that offers a good concept that matches the music video / music magazine brief. It targets the specified audience appropriately and shows a certain authority with regards to industry contexts.
• Media language elements are considered although perhaps lacking specific details in places. It is not clear exactly what the three-minute video will include aside from certain camera shots and a VHS video effect. Narrative isn’t entirely clear. 
• Representation is weaker and keeps this from the top levels. Brief mention of youth and London but not developed. Application of theory and discussion of stereotypes could push this towards the higher levels.
• Audience is addressed impressively with audience pleasures a particular strength. Application of more audience theory could push this to the top level.
• Digital convergence is touched on in print section but could offer a little more in terms of consumption and digital technology. Print element of brief is addressed impressively but perhaps lacking some specific details for the top level.

Feedback:

• This is not far from the top levels and just needs a few extra elements for a 7-10 mark.
• One element to address here is the actual three minute video – the narrative isn’t entirely clear and I’m not sure the moderator would be able to describe what they are expecting to see having read the statement. I would also recommend checking the brief carefully and making sure you are meeting all the minimum requirements exactly – this is so important for A/A*.
• Think about layout for your statement – perhaps consider some additional subheadings / bullet points in places. This may help save you words in the word count too. The key element of statements of intent is ‘how’ or ‘why’. What are you trying to communicate to the audience? You mention plenty of shots but often don’t say what the shot will be of which is holding you back.
• Representation is a weaker area – I would be tempted to add a separate section to address this and make sure you bring in some media theory. With representation, you also need to cover the ‘how’ or ‘why’ too. As discussed, perhaps research Hebdige and his work on subculture if you want to write about the representation of youth.
• Print brief is addressed really well but I would still go back to this in January to add specific details when you have done the print research and planning tasks.
• Industries is also covered well but perhaps look at this again when you have more detail for the print brief and then you can discuss links/consumption between the two products.

Next steps:

• Copy and paste this feedback to your Media 2 coursework blog with the title ‘Statement of Intent feedback and learner response’.
• As your learner response, pick out the three improvements/changes you need to make to your Statement of Intent before producing a final draft.
• Re-draft your statement of intent using Microsoft Word / Google Docs – you may wish to do this after Christmas when we have completed research and planning for the print element of the brief.